i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
