Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He did a backflip because drugs
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