Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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