When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
