She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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