Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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