There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
