woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
