I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
