it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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