Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
