she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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