He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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