cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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