where am i from again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
