i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
