bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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