So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
