I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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