You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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