RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
