dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Soap is not a condiment
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
