How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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