I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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