they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
