i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize