things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
