I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
