I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
