me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
