So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I need water and some morals
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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