While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You made out with two different species that night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize