I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw a hot homeless man
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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