sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
