She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
