all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
