Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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