Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
