oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this beer tastes like vomit already
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
