The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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