Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
