He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
