It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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