She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
