Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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