piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
