I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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