i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
