Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
