Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
