Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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