I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
