He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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