question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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