i don't like sucking hair
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
