This gyro tastes like lonliness
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
