we made out on top of his cat.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
