IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
