yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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